It’s All about Brand Name Gravitas
Here is a partial transcript of a meeting of Sloganeers, Ltd, the Bush Dynasty’s political campaign copywriters. The firm recently began work on slogans for future presidential political campaigns.
Rob: We can kick ideas around until the cows come home, but Bush 2008 is obvious. A slam dunk, if you please.
Abby: That’s so… prosaic. So old school. Do we want a short assignment? Or a gig that lasts a while and earns some real moohlah?
Binky: I vote for fat checks.
Rob: I like money, too. But we’re all patriots here. Our higher calling is to the country’s future, to perpetuating an historic franchise. A lot of blood, sweat and tears went into building it. Bush 1998, Bush 1992, Bush 2000, Bush 2004. Kellog’s Frosted Flakes have been around for fifty years, but you don’t see them fooling around with their name.
Abby: Blood?
Rob: I was speaking metaphorically.
Binky: So we just keep it Bush 2008, Bush 2012, Bush 2016, Bush 2020?
Rob: Absolutely! A brand name is a brand name. It doesn’t matter whether it’s corn flakes, condoms or mouthwash.
Abby: Condoms?
Rob: I was speaking allegorically.
Abby: You could find any number of professors at the Harvard Business School who would argue that with a brand name this well established, it’s time for a brand extension.
Binky: Like what?
Abby: Jeb 2008, of course.
Rob: Unfortunately, the name “Jeb” lacks gravitas.
Binky: Neal 2008?
Rob: Again, no gravitas. Did England have a King Neal?
Binky: I don’t recall one.
Abby: You’re right, Robby. George is ideal. Or Richard, or Charles, or John. Even Harold.
Rob: As far as I know, none of those names are in the family pipeline any time soon.
Abby: All you have is Jenna or Barbara.
Binky: No Georgina?
Abby: I don’t recall that England ever had a Queen Georgina. It would have to be Elizabeth, or Mary, or Victoria, or maybe Beatrice.
Rob: What if we approached the family with a name change for one of the girls. Change her to Elizabeth.
Abby: If you change one, you have to change both. Elizabeth and Mary.
Binky: Elizabeth and Mary 2020? That might work. Yes! That would work.
Abby: Twice the bang for the buck.
Rob: Break for an early lunch?
Binky: That’s a winner. How about tacos at Crazy Harold’s?
Abby: You’re on.