Some People Will Do Anything to Discredit the President
Everyday on the way to work I drive by a house for sale, a nice ranch-style home on a large lot with a couple of big old trees in a respectable neighborhood. The property isn’t moving because, as most everyone must know by now, the real estate boom has cooled.
Recently, the real estate agent selling the house came up with a new twist: let the house talk. Tune your car radio to an AM band frequency and listen in. So I pulled over and after a period of fumbling to figure out how to listen to AM radio stations, I found the house’s broadcast.
The house was moaning. “Buy me,” it would moan, followed by a deep, deep sigh, then a groan and then “buy me” again. Over and over and over.
I’ve been to enough Friday the Thirteenth type movies to know what that probably meant, so the next time I pulled over in front of the house, I made a tape recording of the moaning.
Back home that night, I loaded the tape into my computer, created a sound file then manipulated it so that the tape recording was, in effect, played backward.
Instead of moans, now it was Dubya talking about freedom on the march.
I found this remarkable for several reasons. For one, I had no idea the Bush Dynasty had a real estate sales arm. I thought it was all oil.
For another, I watch the TV news every night and I haven’t heard Dubya talking very much lately about freedom being on the march. You would think that if the Bush apparatchiks have turned to real estate for sale signs as a new way to influence public opinion, they would keep their messages up to date.
And this: It is well known that whenever the Devil wants to send an unmistakable message, you will find it by playing recordings backwards. Remember the messages from the Devil that they found when Beatles records were played backwards in the 1960s?
Could it be that this house for sale was an innocent pawn in a plan of the Devil to take over the president of the United States?
Looking for an answer, I began driving up and down suburban streets looking for other talking houses. Each time I found one, I would make a recording, convert it to digital file and play it backward.
Wow! It wasn’t just Dubya. At a giant McMansion, I found Cheney announcing that the Iraq insurgency was in its last throes. At an ornate old Victorian that needed a new roof, I heard Rumsfeld saying the opposition in Iraq was a bunch of deadenders. At ramshackle faux Frank Lloyd Wright, John Bolton was tongue-lashing a diplomat from Latvia.
I commuted to and from work through that area of town for a couple of days searching for some meaning in it all. Then I had an idea.
What if I took the original sound recordings that I made in my car and flipped them not once, but twice? Brilliant! Well, maybe not brilliant, but worth a try.
And there was my answer: when I double-flipped and then played, I got a sexy female voice that purred, “This has been a production of Move-On Dot Org.”
So there you have it. The Devil wasn’t trying to take over the Bush Administration, it was those darned bleeding heart liberals trying to make it seem that way.
I’m so glad I got to the bottom of it all.