Katrina Victims Need all the Help They Can Get
Transcript of the training session in which President Bush is prepared for an appearance in New Orleans on April 27, 2006 to help residents rebuild their homes.
Amy: I’ll be your hammer and nail trainer today, Mr. President. My name is Amy.
GWB: Thank you, Amy. This should be interesting. I’ve never hammered a nail before.
Amy: (Nervous chuckle) Umm… This is the hammer.
GWB: Looks heavy for a little girl like you.
Amy: Umm. Yes, Sir. This wooden part is the handle. You wrap your hand around it like this.
GWB: Hold it like a baseball bat? I’ve held baseball bats.
Amy: No… you hold it like… like a fly swatter.
GWB: Yeah, I’ve held a fly swatter before.
Amy: This steel part is the hammer’s head. You strike the nail with it.
GWB: Hit the nail with the steel?
Amy: Yes, Sir. That’s the concept.
GWB: You hold the hammer like a fly swatter and hit the nail like it’s a fly?
Amy: Yes, Sir. That’s a useful way to think about it..
GWB: Pretend the nail is a Democrat. (Laughter) Never mind. That’s a joke.
Amy: (Chuckling) Yes, Sir. Now, this is the nail.
GWB: (Low whistle) That’s a nail? Huh! Always hear people talking about them. You know, like, drive a nail in his coffin. Don’t know as I’ve ever actually seen one before.
Amy: The end of the nail has a point. You place it against the wood.
GWB: I get it! Then you hit the other end of the nail with the hammer. Right?
Amy: Yes, Sir. That’s the concept.
GWB: Hold the nail with one hand and hammer in the other hand?
Amy: Yes, Sir. Hit the nail on the head with the hammer like you were swatting a fly.
GWB: Looks like you gotta be careful not to hit your hand.
Amy: Ordinarily, you do. But in this case, when you step up to the boards, you will see little pieces of white tape that mark holes that have been pre-drilled into the wood just for you.
GWB: Hit the tape with the hammer?
Amy: Exactly. Well, not exactly. Beside each piece of tape you will see a hole. First, press the nail into the hole, pointed end first as far as you can push it.
GWB: Then whack it with the hammer?
Amy: Precisely, Sir. That way you don’t have to worry about holding the nail and hitting your thumb and the nail falling to the floor.
GWB: Very clever.
Amy: You will drive every nail perfectly and be the envy of every carpenter watching on television at home.