Unofficial Home Page
No, I am not Tom Cruise. I may look like Him, but I’m not, actually, Him. Please note that this is the “unofficial” Tom Cruise Home Page. I do not know Tom’s phone number. I do not have his e-mail address. I do not know how to contact his evil twin brother or sister. If you want to have his baby, I can’t help you. (Also, apparently there is someone ahead of you in the Baby Tom department.) If you believe you’ve already had his baby and want some help, to all of you I say, I don’t wish to get involved. If you want to issue a death threat to Tom, I cannot relay it. If you wish to give him some money, send it to me and I will gladly relay it. (For tax reasons and to keep Tom’s accountants happy, please make any checks or money orders out to my name.) If you wish to borrow money from Tom, you’re barking up the wrong tree. Besides, like Michael Jackson, Tom may be stretched a little thin right now. I wish I could help you, but I do not know how many times a day that Tom and Katie “do it.” Apparently, they “did it” at least once, though I must confess I’m not familiar with Scientology’s acceptance of the idea of virgin birth. No, I can’t help you become a Scientologist. Go to Google and type in the search term “scientology.” (Be sure to step well back from your computer the instant you hit the enter key to begin the search.) Frankly, I don’t want to get into Tom’s personal life all that much. If you went to Glen Ridge High with Tom and was one of the guys who bullied him and now want to say you’re sorry, I can’t help you invite him to the May reunion. Maybe he keeps in touch with some of his old teachers. Try that route. If you want to know why they didn’t cast Tom as Senator McCarthy in “Good Night and Good Luck”, talk to George Clooney. If you think “Winged Migration” would have had a more fulfilling dramatic arc if they had written Tom into the script, talk to the local chapter of the Bird Society. If you want to know whether Tom dumped Nicole or Nicole dumped Tom, I don’t know the answer. You might try our sister site, the Nicole Kidman Unofficial Home Page. I don’t know the address, but you could find it via a Google search. Be sure to step well back when you hit the enter key, etc. Enjoy!