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Volume 8

Wiretapping Santa Claus Is
Boring, Boring, Boring
December 19, 2005

Advice Columnist Takes on
Christmas Etiquette
December 21, 2005

Twelve Days of Christmas
Inside the Beltway
December 23, 2005

Satirium's Year End
Photo Album Revealed
December 26, 2005

Desecration of Edible Apparitions
Is on the Increase
December 28, 2005

Daddy, Do Cisterns
Have Monsters?
December 31, 2005

Bush Brush Is Chicken
Soup for the Soul
January 1, 2006

Why Small Animal Vet
Fees Are so High
January 4, 2006

Lowe's Fights Bird
Droppings in Its Stores
January 6, 2006

DeLay's Pet Projects
Likely to Languish
January 9, 2006

FBI Targets Bare Midriff Group
in Terrorist Quest
January 11, 2006

Wireless Beermat Helps
Domestic Tranquility
January 13, 2006

Headline Writers Told
'Give It a Rest'
January 17, 2006

Pentagon Seeks
Speed of Dark Weapon
January 18, 2006

God's Help Sought in
Potato Chip Addiction
January 20, 2006

How to Use Fear to
Manage the Office
January 24, 2006

Stop Deer from
Eating Your Shrubs
January 26, 2006

Watch out for
Bogus Body Parts
January 30, 2006

Crazed Computer
Scrambles Headlines
February 1, 2006

Memoir Writers Shift
to Full Disclosure
February 3, 2006

Budget Luxury Cruises
for Just $9.99 per Day
February 6, 2006

Dubya's Grip and
Grin Sore Hand
February 10, 2006

Reasons Why Cheney
Should Keep His Shotgun
February 13, 2006

Shrink Helps Fearful
Ladies on Big Horses
February 15, 2006

Urgent Call to Preserve Cheney
Shooting Site
February 17, 2006

Martha Stewart,
Philosopher Queen?
February 20, 2006

Bush Visit Saves
Doomed Energy Lab
February 22, 2006

Principal Censored in
Swimsuit Calendar Kerfuffle
February 24, 2006

Parsing the Intricacies of Canine
Humping Rules
February 27, 2006

Feds Disguised as Homeless
People Pursue Terrorists
August 29, 2005

Evangelist Prays over Homosexual
Horses to No Avail
August 31, 2005

Bloggers Dig up Arizona Ranch
Seeking Roberts Papers
September 2, 2005

Feds Ignored Likely Fallout from
Cow Jumping over Moon
September 5, 2005

Sacred Furniture Collectors Scramble
for Senate Pieces
September 7, 2005

Hey You, Stealing the Gas. Don't
Light that Match!
September 9, 2005

Rotund Building Inspector Stuck
in Crawl Space Wins Prize
September 12, 2005

At the UN, a Softer, Gentler Bolton
Changes Desk Art
September 14

How the Vomit Bucket Became an
Oval Office Fixture
September 16, 2005

Mommy Tells the Kids Her Secrets
and They Connect the Dots
September 18, 2005

Bush-Cheney Portraits Spark Social
Security Palpitations
September 21, 2005

Homeless Lobbyist Displaced by
Anti-War Protests
September 23, 2005

How the FBI Persuaded an Anti-War
Speaker to Stay Home
September 26, 2005

Starbucks Gun Battles Mark Shopper
Stopper Bracelet Use
September 28, 2005

Celebrities Granted Dog
Age Marriage Standard
Septermber 30, 2005

If Dropped Bacon Shatters,
Do You Kick It under Table?
October 3, 2005

Satirium's Index: DeLay's Saliva
Meets Dubya's Air Guitar
October 5, 2005

No Way Is the Country Ready
for a Justice Named Harriet
October 7, 2005

FBI (redacted), but Porn (redacted)
Nudity and (redacted) Marriage
October 10

When Harriet Bails, Perhaps It's Time
to Appoint a Non-Lawyer to the Court
October 12, 2005

Naked Men Dominate the Voracious
24-Hour News Cycle
October 14, 2005

Congressmen Who Live in Their
Offices Debate Condom under Bed
October 17, 2005

Parsing the Contents of Karl Rove's
Mysterious Garage
October 19, 2005

New List of Tom Cruise Scientology
Web Sites Released
October 21, 2005

How to Carry a Giraffe and Other
Things in a Pickup Truck
October 24, 2005

Newark Leads the Way
in Feel Good News
October 26, 2005

Vladimir Lenin and His Tomb to
Move to Times Square
October 28, 2005

Become a Supermarket Chick Magnet
with These Great Pickup Lines
October 31, 2005

Ask the Betsy Advice Columnist Offers
Hurricane and Candlelight Sex Help
November 2, 2005

Legal Problems? Hire One of These
Crack(ed) Law Firms
November 4, 2005

Excerpts from the new White
House Ethics Course
November 7, 2005

In Kansas Pi Equals 3.0 Is
Next in the Schools Agenda
November 9, 2005

Some Things Make Us Really, Really
Sad Here at Satirium
November 11, 2005

You Won't Read This Shocking
News Anywhere Else, Probably
November 14, 2005

Bureau of Excess Consonants Gives
Bush Administration Tepid Rating
November 16, 2005

Telepathic Parrot toTestify about Karl
Rove in CIA Leak Investigation
November 18, 2005

Does Bush Lie Awake at Night and
Stare at the Ceiling?
November 21, 2005

Ask the Vet Tackles St. Bernard
Slobber and Other Slippery Issues
November 23, 2005

New Worry Plagues Sociologists:
Criminals Living in Doghouses
November 25, 2005

Satirium Index: Wal-Mart, Home Depot
Sell Heated Bras
November 28, 2005

For This Woman, It's to Decorate
Till You Drop
November 30, 2005

Bedbug Preservation Group Unveils
Plan to Lobby Washington
December 2, 2005

Results of Nude Photo Shoots
Surprise Medical Experts
December 5, 2005

News Articles We Don't Plan to Read,
and for Good Reason, Too
December 7, 2005

Pop Culture and Political Moments
That Changed Society
December 9, 2005

Teens Smoking Aspartame Prompts
DEA to Declare It Controlled Substance
December 12, 2005

Tom DeLay, Exterminator, to Get His
Own Houston Monument
December 14, 2005

Trudy Patience, Critic, Offers
Hot Holiay Gift Suggestions
December 16, 2005