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Volume 5

Taxidermy Advocate Has New Book:
"Preserve Your Spouse"
September 3, 2004

How to Sell Your House in Eight
Hours and Get Top Price
September 6, 2004

Push-Down Bra Inventor Struggles
to Find a Market
September 8, 2004

Ask the Vet: Chihuahua's Bad
Manners Threaten New Marriage
September 9, 2004

Cat Owners Angry over Exclusion
from Opposable Thumbs Program
September 10, 2004

Late at Night on Campaign Trail, Dick
Cheney Tries His Hand at Poetry
September 13, 2004

Hail of 1,000 Bullets at Junk Yard
Heralds End of Assault Rifle Ban
September 14, 2004

Media Watchdog Group Warns about
Alarming Rise in Use of "Conflate"
September 15, 2004

Reading Kitty Kelly's Bush Dynasty
Book Plunges RNC Staffer into Coma
September 16, 2004

Clinton Wearing Heart Monitor that
Reports Sexual Arousal to Hillary
September 17, 2004

Disney Nixes Tigers Woods Plan to
Change His First Name to Tigger
September 20, 2004

Cheney Predicts Plagues for States
that Vote for Kerry
September 21, 2004

Kerry Obsessively Watches Movies
Late at Night
September 22, 2004

Get Your Cat on a Convenient
Hairball Schedule
September 23, 2004

'Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway'
Diet Book Targets Aging Boomers
September 24, 2004

Preparing for Martha's Reality Show
After She Gets out of Prison
September 27, 2004

Woman's Singing Teeth and Shar Pei
Predicted California Earthquake
Septembr 29, 2004

Crest Toothpaste Users Set Off
Explosives Sniffers at O'Hare
October 1, 2004

Helping Washington Name Its New
Baseball Team
October 4, 2004

Society of Congressmen Who Live in
Their Offices Debates Condoms
October 6, 2004

Bones on the Floor Restaurant Thrills
New York Dog Owners Who Eat Out
October 8, 2004

Bush Explains the Bulge under His
Coat during the Debate
October 11, 2004

Ask the Vet about Kitty Litter Dumped
Down the Groundhog Hole
October 13, 2004

Talking Ice Cream, Sarcastic Corn
Flakes Debut at Supermarket
October 15, 2004

Karl Rove Courts Bush Campaign
Press Corps with Practical Jokes
October 18, 2004

Tracking Bad Breath: Cheney Worst,
then Kerry, with Bush, Edwards Third
October 20, 2004

Risque Anti-Bush Bumper Sticker
Leads to Arrest, But Bill of Rights Wins
October 22, 2004

Internet Satirists Outraged by Jon
Stewart's The Daily Show
October 25, 2004

Dick Cheney Costume a Frightening
Must Have for Boys at Halloween
October 27, 2004

Pundits, Talking Heads Use Trusted
Benchmarks to Predict Election
October 29, 2004

Feeble Brains Almost Became the
October Surprise
November 1, 2004

Paris Hilton Wannabe Seeks Advice
about Whether to Own a Chihuahua
November 2, 2004

Internet Satirists, Humorists Ecstatic
over Bush Win
November 3, 2004

Pop Music Divas in Catfight over
Ancient Rome Cosmetic
November 4, 2004

Dictionary Experts Examine Convincing Mandate Claims
November 8, 2004

Congressman Donating His Antibodies to Prevent Flu
November 9, 2004

Wisconsin High School Course Says Divine Stumble Formed Great Lakes
November 10, 2004

Bare Breast at Justice Unlikely to
Plague Gonzales
November 11,2004

Lisa Minnelli and Burt Reynolds to
Wed in North Dakota
November 12, 2004

A New Dick Cheney Suitable for
History Books to Be Unveiled Soon
November 15, 2004

Clinton Library Denies Lewinsky
Dress on Display
November 16, 2004

Leo Strauss Mausoleum on National
Mall in Washington Back on Track
November 17, 2004

Bush Accepts Full Responsibility
For National Tomato Crisis
November 18, 2004

Teen in Assault Rifle Standoff over
Jude Law Sexiest Honor
November 19,2004

Detroit Basketball Fan (Expletives
Deleted) Tells It Like It Is
November 22, 2004

Shrinks Discover Martha Stewart Media
Withdrawal Syndrome
November 23, 2004

For This Baseball Fan, Washington
"Nationals" Team Name Doesn't Cut It
November 24, 2004

Wall Street Readyng Virgin Mary
Sandwaich Shoppe Chain
November 26, 2004

Hairy Miss America Aspirant Worries
about Swimsuits
November 29, 2004

Campaign Slogans Found on the
Cutting Room Floor
November 30, 2004

To Stay out of Jail, This Reporter Will
Talk to the Grand Jury
December 1, 2004

Memos Reveal SpongeBob Thefts
a Giant Publicity Stunt
December 2, 2004

In Medical First, Surgeon Attaches
Jewelry to Woman's Pancreas
December 3, 2004

Was Election Rigged by Alien
Crop Circles?
December 6, 2004

How One Man Becomes Aggressive
about Holiday Gift Catalog Avalanche
December 7, 2004

What If Dubya Hadn't Quit Drinking
When He Was a Young Man?
December 8, 2004