October 1, 2004

New screening devices at Chicago's O'Hare airport meant to detect explosives residue on airline passengers are singling out hundreds of travelers because the don't smell right. Those who trigger the new machines are pulled aside, searched, interrogated, and often delayed so much they miss their flights.

"It's a mess," said Robert Irwin of Oak Forest, who missed his flight to Seattle. "I couldn't believe it when they pulled me aside and grilled me and searched me like there was no tomorrow. Then I looked around and saw all these other people in the same boat."

Passengers using Crest Extra Mint toothpaste were among the first stopped when the machines went into service this week. But soon screeners also discovered that anyone using Coopenhagen chewing tobacco was singled out also.

"If you use Copenhagen and then brush with Crest Extra Mint, better pack your bags for Gitmo," grumbled a harried employee of the Transportation Safety Administration.

Taco Bell's triple hot chalupas set off the machines. So did anyone who had just read The Chicago Tribune and had its ink on their fingers. Other offenders: McDonald's fish sandwich residue; anyone with a Trojan condom in their pocket; passengers who had arrived at the airport in a taxi owned by Rocket Cabs.

Authorities admit the machines aren't perfect, but say they can't take a chance that someone the devices single out might, in fact, be carrying a bomb. So the supposed terrorist is searched, any checked baggage retrieved and taken apart, and an extensive background check conducted.

The new technology searches -- sniffs, actually -- for the chemical signatures of substances known to be in explosives. The theory is that anyone who has residue from explosives on them might have recently built a bomb and should get an extra look.

"In theory, it's a great idea. So far, in practice I'll have to admit there are a few false positives," said a Transportation Safety Administration official, who asked not to be identified because she had just eaten a McDonald's fish sandwich.

"My understanding is that a large number of soaps, shampoos, deodorants, toothpaste and other personal care products were tested with the machines. Clearly, something's gone wrong somewhere."

Rumors spread through O'Hare that anyone who had recently chewed garlic got past the machines without a problem. Within a short period, some of the airport's news stand concessionaires had brought in fresh garlic cloves and were doing a brisk business at $5 for two cloves. Passengers waiting in line could be seen chewing away.

"I can't afford to miss my flight to San Francisco," said Lisa Cunningham of Bellvue as she munched garlic and inched forward. "You won't want to be sitting next to me on the flight. Maybe they should reseat us on the plane so that all the garlic people are in one area."

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