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October 27, 2004

Dick Cheney Costume a Frightening Must Have for Boys

John Kerry Pre-Botox as Frankenstein a Distant Runner-up

Republican-leaning parents are not having much fun this year when they take their sons to purchase Hallowe'en costumes. The runaway favorite for scariest costume is the Dick Cheney getup -- mask, black cape, pitchfork, and jack boots. Little boys are enthusiastically embracing it.

"You can spot the Republican parents right away when they come in. The kid wants the Cheney costume and the parent starts working real hard to get him interested in the John Edwards Bobblehead Clown or the John Kerry Frankenstein costumes," said Remalad Jordan of Big Bubba's Costume Emporium in Cicero, Illinois.

"A lot of these little Republican ankle biters just won't budge. They know what they want," he said. "So Daddy or Mommy has to give in and stand at the register, paying and steaming. Some of them are pretty chapped by the time they leave."

At A&M Costumes in Roanoke, Virginia, Abner Marshall, the owner, says he thinks the John Kerry Frankenstein costume is much scarier than Cheney. "The face is Kerry before his Botox treatments, so he's got that long face and it looks really worn. And you get a whip with it. So you go around cracking your whip and looking truly fearsome."

But, he adds, "The kids just don't respond to Kerry as Frankenstein. Too bland I guess."

How did Cheney capture the imagination of children, edging out Saddam Hussein, Dracula, Wolfman, and Arnold Schwarzenegger?

"It's the power of television," said Louise Borman at Mile High Costume Shop in Denver. "There is so much campaign coverage this time. So many of the sound bites are really nasty, and Cheney is the master of nasty, growling out of the side of his mouth. Kids don't understand the issues, but they respond to the viciousness. It rings a bell, especially with boys teetering on the cusp of adolescence."

What about girls this year?

"They're not as energized by politics for some reason this time around," said Jordan at Big Bubba's. "There are the usual requests for Cinderella or Britney and Ashlee. We've sold a few Martha Stewarts in prison stripes. But there's no runaway favorite like Cheney is with the boys."

At Mile High Costume Shop in Denver, Borman said she has had some mothers come in and press their daughters to get the Hillary Clinton costume. "But the girls aren't playing that game. Britney and even Cinderella trumps Hillary any day."

At A&M in Roanoke, Marshall said he was surprised to have a girl ask for an Ann Coulter costume. "I knew who that was, thank goodness. But we didn't have one. Offered her a female devil, but she decided on Jessica Simpson instead."

What about George Bush?

"Oh, we're selling a good number of Bush, but nothing like Cheney with his pitchfork," Jordan said. "Cheney's shoved Old Dubya into the background."

Copyright 2003-2004 William Stockton & Smithtown Creek Productions
All Rights Reserved
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