After Seeing 'Fahrenheit' Six Times, This Voter Can't Decide

Fancy Homes, Beautiful Women and Open Bars a Big Factor

Ferris Langmuir, a printing press operator who works nights and considers himself a middle of the road voter -- a political fence sitter -- says that he has seen Michael Moore's film "Fahrenheit 9/11" just about every other day since it opened in a theater near his home in Beech Grove, an Indianapolis suburb. By Langmuir's count, that's means he's sat through the film six times.

"I just love that film," he said. He knows it by heart now, when to laugh, when to get ready to cry, when to be appalled or angry, and when to make a quick trip to the refreshment stand or a bathroom. His all-time favorite moment: President Bush on his ranch joking about his dog digging for armadillos.

But despite this intense exposure to "Fahrenheit", Langmuir says he still can't decide whether to vote for President Bush's re-election or not.

"It's a wonderful movie," he said. "Getting to see all those powerful people up close and their exciting lives. Boats and airplanes and limos and women and their own cattle ranches. Everybody's got lots of money and there's all these open bars where you can drink all you want for free and all this free food and fancy, I mean really fancy, living rooms and offices. But--"

He pauses and squinches up his face in thought. "But there's nothing in there about the other guy, the one from Boston. Kerry. Is that his name? There's not a single thing about Kerry. Does he have all that stuff -- money and unlimited open bars? Does he ever have to worry about paying the rent? How can I make up my mind about voting when I don't even see the guy?"

Langmuir said it occurred to him as he left the theater after the first screening that Kerry wasn't in the film. Or at least he didn't seem to be.

"I got to thinking that maybe he was in there somewhere and I was just too busy laughing or crying and the Kerry dude just slipped past me," he said. So a couple of days later Langmuir plopped down another $8 and watched "Fahrenheit" again.

"I watched real close for Kerry," he said. "I thought maybe he was one of those people who ran the other way when old Mikey Boy was trying to get them to join the army and fight in Iraq."

He returned again looking for Kerry and then, he said, "I sort of got addicted. I just keep going back. It's possible, isn't it, that Kerry's in there?"

When told that a couple of the members of the Saudi royal family briefly glimpsed by the camera possibly bore a resemblance to Kerry, Langmuir brightened.

"That's cool. I'll watch for that next time I go. If Kerry is one of those Arabs, that would help me a lot to decide about voting. Those guys have lots of money and fancy homes. Do they have women? Lots of beautiful women? That's important, you know."

He squinched up his face in thought again.

"I think it's real important that the president at least have money and beautiful women," he said. "Don't you?"

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