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May 12, 2004

President Bush Admits Making a Mistake

Was It Just an Error or a Full-Blown Mistake?

For the first time since he took office more than three years ago, President Bush has admitted making a mistake. The White House disclosed yesterday that Bush made a mistake when he ordered a piece of chocolate cake instead of an ice cream sundae for a mid-afternoon snack in the Oval Office.

"We're not sure precisely what day it was," said Press Secretary Scott McClellan, "but between 10 days and two weeks ago after the President had eaten a piece of chocolate cake at his desk for his 3:30 p.m. snack, he did say that he wished he'd ordered a chocolate sundae instead and that his selection of the cake had been a mistake."

The admission came after repeated inquiries from reporters in recent days as to whether the President had ever admitted making a mistake since his inauguration in January, 2001. At first, McClellan dismissed the inquiries with a blanket no.

But after several reporters brought the matter up during successive daily press briefings, expressing some incredulity that the President had not made a single mistake after more than 40 months in office, McClellan promised that his staff would make a thorough search of White House records. The result was the admission of the dessert selection mistake.

"At this point in time, there is no expectation that the President will publicly admit making the mistake," MClellan said. "Nor does he anticipate apologizing for it."

McClellan said that immediately after eating the chocolate cake, Bush realized his mistake and "felt remorseful about it. He wished that he hadn't selected the cake. And he was deeply sorry that he had made the mistake."

When pressed repeatedly about why Bush was unwilling to publicly admit the mistake, McClellan said, "The President has authorized me to admit that he made the mistake, to admit it for him. The President feels bad about it, but he believes that it's time to put the matter behind us and move on."

Other White House officials, who spoke only on the condition of anonymity, said that some presidential advisors cautioned that Bush should only admit to making "an error." Admission of an error, these advisors felt, was less damning than admitting an actual mistake. But after examining overnight polling data in which the public was queried about how it viewed the difference between an error and a mistake, the decision was made to admit a full-blown mistake.

McClellan said that the slice of chocolate cake the president ate was a triple-layer Devils food cake with an extra-buttery, double-chocolate icing covered by red, white and blue sprinkles. The ice cream sundae, had the President selected it, would have been two scoops of Hagen Das' Died and Gone to Heaven flavor of chocolate ice cream, covered with chocolate fudge sauce and topped with extra-heavy whipped cream and red, white and blue maraschino cherries.

McClellan refused to discuss why President Bush believed selecting the cake was a mistake, what it was about the cake that convinced him he should have selected the sundae.

"As you well know, details of the President's personal life are off-limits," McClellan said. "Why he decided the cake was a mistake vis a vis the sundae crosses the line into the President's personal life."

Copyright 2003-2004 William Stockton & Smithtown Creek Productions
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