August 7 2004

Why Pennsylvania's Amish Should Vote for GWB

In the Quaker State, Every Last Vote Must Be Courted

He's a simple farm boy who prefers life on his modest 1,600-acre Texas ranch to the Satanic confines of Washington.

Some of the best 12-hour days of his life have been spent endlessly guiding a single bottom plow pulled across a field by a team of horses.

He would give up electricity, sports cars, airplanes, helicopters, television, computers, professional sports, shaving, personal chefs, custom made suits, Segways, speedboats, skyboxes, multiple homes, chauffeured limousines and personal valets if the rigors of his office didn't demand them.

He relishes rising at 3 a.m. and milking 20 cows by hand before breakfast.

Like the Amish, he believes in the strict separation of church and state.

He rose from humble origins and has endured ridicule and even persecution for his religious beliefs.

He and Laura sleep on a mattress filled with straw and read the Bible every night by kerosene lantern.

Like the Amish, he believes that the environment and biodiversity are sacred gifts from God and should be preserved at all costs.

Like the Amish, he is a strict pacifist.

God sent him to be president of the United States and vanquish evil.

Laura bakes a killer broccoli chocolate cake.

Copyright 2003-2004 William Stockton & Smithtown Creek Productions
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