April 28, 2004

Marketers Pursue Gen-Xer Who Never Watched "Friends"

Seek His Advice on the Future of Sitcoms

Concerned about the coming final episodeof "Friends" and the future of television sitcoms in general, marketing gurus have descended on a quiet Albuquerque, New Mexico neighborhood where David Hardy, a 27-year-old engineer, lives with several small yapping dogs.

Hardy received national prominence last year when he was identified as the last member of Generation-X who did not own a cell phone or have a credit card. Now, the marketing experts report, they have also discovered that Hardy is the last Gen-Xer who hasn't ever watched an episode of "Friends" or "Frazier."

The marketers want Hardy to watch the last "Friends" episode on May 6 and the final "Frazier" episode a week later and advise them about what kind of comedy programs should replace them in order to appeal to Generation X as it moves into its thirties.

"It's crucial that we hear from someone in Generation X who is educated and has substantial disposable income but who is a tableau rosa when it comes to consuming television," said Angstrom Hewitt, whose New York firm, Angstrom Media Measurements, advises advertisers and the television networks about what the public wants to see on television and what it might buy as a result of television ads.

"Many of us who have gotten to know Dave find his, shall we say, media naivete a breath of refreshing air," Hewitt said. "We hope Dave will have some new insights. What we're talking about here is nothing less than saving the sitcom as an American institution and preserving a multi-billion dollar industry."

The demise of "Friends" and "Frazier", the earlier end to "Sex and the City" and the expected demise of "Everybody Loves Raymond" have led to funeral dirges for the television sitcom, an American institution for half a century.

Hewitt spoke as he sat in a rented car and trained a pair of binoculars on Hardy's front door on a tree-lined street in Albuquerque's Northeast Heights. He was waiting for Hardy to emerge so that he could hurry forward and hope to engage the solid waste disposal engineer in conversation.

Hardy's identity as the last Gen-Xer without a cell phone or credit card was accidentally revealed by researchers at the University of North Central Cincinnati last year when they published a scientific paper about Generation-X. As a result, he was besieged by offers for credit cards and cell phones, as well as everything from marriage proposals to free vacations on Mt. Everest to invitations to run for political office.

Hardy became a recluse after the wave of unwanted attention. He speaks to reporters only after they are vetted by an Episcopal priest, who is a friend of the family.

With the priest's blessing, Hardy opened his front door a crack, using his foot to kick back the usual pack of small, yapping dogs.

"It's lot of fuss about nothing," he said, admitting that he once watched an episode of "Seinfeld" when he was a teen-ager. "It was all about nothing. There were a few yuks, but...nothing." He shrugged his shoulders.

Hardy said that in order to watch the last "Friends" he would have to skip his bowling league, where his team is top-ranked. "They're depending on me," he said. The last "Frazier" is the same evening as his softball team's first game of the new season. He plays in the outfield and says the other outfielders are "weak to poor" and sure to miss a lot of easy catches without him backing them up.

"There's more to life than television," he said. Still, he admitted, people like Hewitt are offering him "a lot of money to watch stupid things on television and pontificate." On the other hand, he added, "I don't like to let my friends down."

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