Federal Communications Chairman Michael Powell announced yesterday that he will patrol backstage during the upcoming Grammy awards ceremony, armed with a wooden ruler, to make sure no nudity is shown or vulgar language used during the live televised broadcast.
"I'm taking a page from the nuns at parochial schools in the past, who patrolled their classrooms and hallways armed with nothing but a wooden ruler or a yardstick and their moral authority," Powell said at a news conference. "They taught generations of children about responsibility, proper behavior and obedience to God. The nation was richer for it," .
The Grammy Awards will be broadcast live on Sunday and both Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake will participate, Janet as the presenter of an award and Justin as a performer. It was Justin who ripped off Janet's bodice to expose her right breast to a global television audience during the Super Bowl half-time entertainment Sunday.
Powell, whose father is Colin Powell, the Secretary of State, was quick to leap atop the breast exposure hustings and condemn the smutty performance, as well as the rising tide of smut in general on both television and radio.
Janet and Justin's "Breastgate" scandal comes at a delicate time politically for Powell.
He is a staunch defender of the FCC's much criticized decision to allow media companies to further consolidate ownership of broadcast stations in the hands of a few corporate giants. Both Republicans and Democrats in Congress, in a rare bi-partisan effort, have opposed Powell.
Breastgate was a pointed reminder of the dangers of too much media consolidation. Viacom, one of the media giants, owns CBS, which broadcast the super Bowl and was supposed to supervise half-time entertainment and, presumably, keep nudity off the airwaves. But Viacom also owns MTV, the teen-oriented, in-your-face-we're-cool-
and-anything-goes-Up-Yours-Dude! music video cable channel that had the contract to provide the half-time entertainment.
Critics of excessive media consolidation were quick to note the inherent conflicts of interest for Viacom that Breastgate exposed. They also pointed at Powell's media consolidation policy as the progenitor of the Breastgate scandal.
At the news conference, Powell said that he and his staff were still working out the details of his backstage patrols during the Grammy awards.
"My very presence backstage--and onstage, if need be--might be sufficient," Powell said, "particularly if I carry a yardstick and walk about and occasionally swat it against the side of my leg just as a reminder."
Did he anticipate actually appearing onstage? Powell was asked.
"If I have to," he said. "I can't think of anything that would leave a stronger impression on a performer than to be immediately and publicly rebuked by the chairman of the FCC for inappropriate language or dress that is broadcast over the airwaves, airwaves that belong to the American people, by the way, not to young people who think they can dictate decency standards."
A Powell staff member, who asked not to be identified, said a search had begun for a suitable ruler or yardstick. The hunt was focusing on locating a wooden yardstick that is given away to customers by a lumber yard whose commercial message is printed on the yardstick.
"We want to find a Republican lumber yard, since the Chairman's use of the yardstick will bring the lumber yard enormous publicity," she said.
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