NPR Praised for Iguanas, Clarifies Bush Names

Listeners Critical of New York City's Master-Slave Rule

National Public Radio's news program "All Things Considered" reads letters from listeners about recent stories:

Correspondent 1: A number of you were very critical of our story about how the Army is teaching soldiers returning home from Iraq to knock on doors first and ask permission to enter rather than just kicking doors down without any warning.

Louis Gonsalvo from Birmingham, Alabama sent an e-mail in which he said, "If your wife has the bathroom door locked and you think she has another man hiding behind the shower curtain, why shouldn't you kick the door down?"

But Audry Waitsfield from Cornoa, California suggested the Army give each soldier returning from Iraq a small bell to carry in a pocket and tinkle several times before opening a door.

Correspondent 2: Many listeners told us in phone calls and e-mails that they were greatly moved by Maya Anderson's story last week about psychoanalysis for iguanas.

Francine Zimmerman from Boise, Idaho said that she grew up in southern Mexico and had several iguanas as close friends when she was a child. "Iguanas are very sensitive and they internalize many, if not all of their feelings. How wonderful to hear that iguanas are finally receiving the understanding and the mental health care that they so richly deserve."

Correspondent 1: We received many e-mails from listeners in response to New York City's decision to outlaw labeling computer hard drives as "master" and "slave" when they are configured and hooked together inside computers.

Reed Elsinor of Arlington Heights, Illinois, said that the issue is electrical voltages, not arbitrary labels. "What matters," he wrote, "is whether the voltage supplied to the logic chip has a bias sufficient enough to overcome the inertia of the electrons as they approach the gate array. Once that is achieved, everything is equal. The master and slave designation becomes meaningless."

And Jackie Zinsmor of Alhamabra, California sent an e-mail that said she believes extending egalitarian principles to electronic devices is the next equal rights frontier in the natural world. "Now that we humans are finally recognizing that animals have rights and feelings, it's only logical that we extend that same intellectual construct to electrons rocketing around endlessly in silicon lattices. What we need to do is develop some empathy for the difficulties that electrons constantly must overcome to do their jobs."

Correspondent 2: A number of you pointed out errors we made in Bush family names in our story about the resurgence of the ground hog in the golf course sand traps at the Kennebunkport, Maine country club. We said that at the time that the ground hogs first appeared, George Herbert Walker Bush was vice president, when, in fact, he was the president. We were incorrect when we said that George Walker Bush was the governor of Florida during the period when the ground hogs were humanely trapped and removed from the golf course. Instead, during that period he was first governor of Texas and then president. We misspoke when we said that Jeb Bush was president. He was then, as he is now, the governor of Florida.

Several listeners pointed out that the story never mentioned Neil Bush, who is another son of George Herbert Walker Bush and brother of George Walker Bush and Jeb Bush. To those listeners we say: You're right!

Correspondent 1: In our coverage last week of Clear Channel Communications and indecency on the airwaves, we said that the company had fired a deejay known as Bubba the Dove Sponge. His name is actually Bubba the Love Sponge. Oh well, dove, love. What's the difference?

Correspondent 2: When we reported that the cable television channel Comedy Central had hired television evangelist Pat Robertson to be the host of a new comedy program, we got the program's name wrong. We said the name will be "God Is a New Bunny." The correct name of the program, which will debut in April, is "God Is Too Funny."

Correspondent 1: We want to hear from you. Call our listener response telephone number or send us your e-mails. Be sure to tell us how to pronounce your name, unless your name is Jones or Smith, which we know how to pronounce. However, if your name is Smith but the "i" is long and your name is really pronounced as "Sm-I-I-I-th', please tell us that. Sorry, our producers don't allow us to pronounce double last names.

Copyright 2003-2004 William Stockton & Smithtown Creek Productions
All Rights Reserved
satire | humor | comedy | parody | satirical headlines