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March 29, 2004

Hasbro Planning Richard Clarke Action Toy

New Heroic Bureaucrat Doll Will Join G.I. Joe

Toy industry sources say that Hasbro, one of the world's largest toy manufacturers, has assembled a team of elite designers to rush a line of Richard Clarke action toys to market.

The Clarke toy, which joins the venerable G.I. Joe in Hasbro's action toy lineup, will celebrate the government bureaucrat as mythic hero. He will fight wars and slay duplicitous political appointees using only his wits, eloquent pen, the government insider's knowledge of how things really work, and a virtuous zeal for exposing the truth, come what may.

"G.I. Joe is forty years old and in that period the bureaucrat has emerged as the heroic player on the global stage, while the military man has been diminished," said a Hasbro spokeswoman, who confirmed the new action toy crash project. "We've had the concept of an action bureaucrat toy, the whistleblower, if you will, on our to-do list for a while. We've just been waiting for the right kind of giant killer figure to emerge. Clearly, Dick Clarke is it."

Clarke, a veteran of 30 years in government service at increasingly responsible posts through multiple presidents from both political parties, ignited a political firestorm last week with the publication of his book "Against All Enemies." In the book, Clarke accuses the Bush Administration of not taking terrorism seriously enough in the months before the terrorist attacks on New York and Washington in September, 2001.

The Bush Administration launched a fusillade of attacks against Clarke in radio and television interviews and public denouncements that some Beltway insiders described as unprecedented in its intensity.

"He's still standing, and that's what we've been looking for as we sought our bureaucrat action hero," The Hasbro spokeswoman said.

In addition to his claims about Bush Administration preparedness for a war on terrorism, Clarke's book also takes the reader inside the White House on September 11, 2001 when Clarke took charge of White House operations as a hijacked airliner bore down on Washington, exact target unknown.

While Vice President Cheney and political appointees took refuge in the White House underground bunker, Clarke and other bureaucrats remained exposed in their aboveground offices while orchestrating the government's response to the terrorist attacks. In his self-portrait, Clarke emerges as a forceful leader who uses his vast knowledge of how the Government works to get things done.

Toy industry insiders said that although a Richard Clarke toys seems certain to be ready for next Christmas, a struggle is underway between Hasbro's toy marketers and toy designers over what kind of "family" of toys will comprise the Clarke project.

Marketers apparently favor a "contained toy" in which the Clarke doll and a small complement of Clarke accessories, such as an office, conference room and bureaucrats' lounge, all are part of the larger G.I. Joe family. The approach would also feature a "contained story line" that aids children's imagination in their play with the toys.

The designers, however, are thinking much larger. They want to launch an entire new line of toys and a new "global" story line. In this approach, the Clarke action toy would also spawn various transformer dolls, which have been big hits with children in the past. For example, a child might be able to own a Clarke action figure that transforms into an evil political appointee, or into a blustering senator.

In one concept that the designers think could resonate strongly with children, the Clarke doll would be a "triple transformer". A single Clarke doll might morph, say, into a political appointee, but then transform itself into a rouge Supreme Court justice bent on pursuing a political agenda.

The Clarke dolls are expected be classified as suitable for children ages 5 and up.

Copyright 2003-2004 William Stockton & Smithtown Creek Productions
All Rights Reserved
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