Phone Etiquette in an Age of Outsourcing

To:
Bombay Phone Center
Bombay, India

From:
Corporate Sales & Service
Santa Monica

Re: Convincing Callers You Are Located in Santa Monica

Recently, many of our customers have begun aggressively questioning our telephone associates about where they are located. Some callers try to trick our associates into revealing that they are not located in Santa Monica.

Here's how convince them that you are in Santa Monica:

Caller: Who's going to win the Laker's game?
Associate: How about those Lakers!

Caller: Do you think Kobe'll get off?
Male Associate: Absolutely, Dude. That woman was askin' for it.
Female Associate: I hope they fry his lying ass.

Caller: Think it's going to rain?
Associate: You know what the Mammas and Pappas say.

Caller: Are you in India?
Associate: I can assure you this company would never to business with those ragheads.

Caller: Ever see any movie stars when you're, like, walking around?
Associate: Perry Mason was with me on the bus yesterday.

Caller: They say the traffic's pretty bad out there.
Associate: It's not too bad. There are only a few cows in the streets.

Caller: Who's the governor of California now?
Associate: We're not supposed to talk about politics, but I think it's Ronald Reagan.

Caller: Seen any mountain lions recently?
Associate: Yes, one ate my grandmother yesterday.

Caller: Do you think Cal Tech will make it to the Rose Bowl next year?
Associate: Probably, unless the traffic is real bad.

Caller: Is Schrafft's still on Santa Monica Boulevard?
Associate: I passed by just this morning and she was still there.

Caller: What do you think about gay marriages?
Associate: My marriage was very gay. There was a big party with much food.

Caller: Do you think L.A. will make it to the Superbowl next year?
Associate: Not if Kobe Bryant is in jail.

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