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August 14, 2003
French Drains Flowing Again after Mystery Blockages Civil engineers and building contractors across the country report that the mysterious epidemic of clogged French drains that began last March appears to be easing. A poll of its members conducted by the American Society of Civil Engineers found that thousands of the drains across the United States have begun to spontaneously unclog in recent weeks just as mysteriously as they became stopped up in the spring. "This is very good news for all Americans who had been plagued with this unexpected problem," said Chelsy Beckwith, a spokesperson for the engineer's society said yesterday, announcing the poll results. "We have every expectation that in time this nuisance will completely disappear." Asked about the drains during a news conference, Secretary of State Colin Powell said it was "quite appropriate" that the easing of the drain crisis seemed to coincide with the forthcoming visit to Washington of French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin. Diplomatic analysts believe the foreign minister's visit will herald a resumption of warmer relations between the United States and France. The mysterious clogging of French drains, in everything from basements in homes to farmers' fields to the White House Rose Garden in Washington, D.C., coincided with the rise of tensions last winter between the United States and France over U.S. plans to Invade Iraq. It was widely believed that the French government was responsible for the stoppages and legislation was introduced in Congress that would have outlawed the term "French drain" and mandated that all existing French drains be renamed "Liberty Drains." The Associated General Contractors of America said yesterday that many of its members were reporting fewer trouble calls from owners of homes, commercial buildings and other structures that use French drains. "It's good news," said Naomi Santana, an AGCA spokeswoman. "But some of our members are a little unhappy because the drain problem had brought a lot of unexpected business." Attorneys general in several states have launched inquiries into complaints about price gouging by plumbers, contractors and engineers called upon to fix drains. Although there had been some reports of the mysterious clogs late last year, the problem dramatically worsened in March after Congressional cafeterias stopped serving "French fries" and began serving instead "Freedom Fries." The national press corps paid particular attention to the mysterious clogging of a French drain in one of the House of Representatives cafeterias that caused backups in the toilets in the office of House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Illilnois and in a clog in the restroom at the Pentagon near the offices of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. After the national drain publicity, a bi-partisan group of House members proposed the French drain legislation, but the bill failed to attract enough much support and was shelved by the House Subcommittee on Drains and Auxiliary Pumps. Copyright William Stockton & Smithtown Creek Productions |
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