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	<title>Satirium &#187; Dieting</title>
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	<link>http://www.satirium.com</link>
	<description>Satire &#124; Parody &#124; Humor</description>
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		<title>Are You the Odd Duck (or Turkey) at Thanksgiving?</title>
		<link>http://www.satirium.com/2007/11/are-you-the-odd-duck-or-turkey-at-thanksgiving/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirium.com/2007/11/are-you-the-odd-duck-or-turkey-at-thanksgiving/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Nov 2007 12:32:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Stockton</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dieting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fashion]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Forget the Weirdos. Beware Uncles and Cousins Who Seem too Friendly
Herewith, Satirium&#8217;s checklist for determining if you are the family oddity at Thanksgiving dinner.
&#8211; Uncle Howard is convinced you are his cousin Nate from Omaha on his mother&#8217;s side, even though Nate has been dead at least 20 years.
&#8211; The place cards have you sitting [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Should the Airlines Have a Dress Code?</title>
		<link>http://www.satirium.com/2007/10/should-the-airlines-have-a-dress-code/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirium.com/2007/10/should-the-airlines-have-a-dress-code/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Oct 2007 12:38:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Stockton</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Civil Liberties]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dieting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Travel]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[First, Do Something about Fatties and Crying Babies
Bob: Welcome to Burning Questions, the program where we get to the bottom. I&#8217;m Mister Bob. Our guest today is Charles de Vie, a well-known expert. And our burning question is: Should the airlines have a dress code?
Charles: What the airlines should do is ban babies. No babies [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Fat Toes New Health Problem, But Help Is on the Way</title>
		<link>http://www.satirium.com/2007/08/fat-toes-new-health-problem-but-help-is-on-the-way/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirium.com/2007/08/fat-toes-new-health-problem-but-help-is-on-the-way/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 27 Aug 2007 12:10:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Stockton</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dieting]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Book Publisher Has a Plan to Conquer Latest Adipose Tissue Malady
I had another chat last night with my neighbor Harry, the book publisher, as we were putting out our garbage down at the end of our driveways. You can prime his pump by simply asking: &#8220;What&#8217;s new, Harry?&#8221;
&#8220;Fat toes,&#8221; he shot back. &#8220;People&#8217;s toes have [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>How to Avoid the Dangerous Influence of Fat Friends</title>
		<link>http://www.satirium.com/2007/07/how-to-avoid-the-dangerous-influence-of-fat-friends/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirium.com/2007/07/how-to-avoid-the-dangerous-influence-of-fat-friends/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Jul 2007 13:28:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Stockton</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dieting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Medicine]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Eat, Oh Slothful One, But I Reject Your Game of Freighted Adiposity 
The news from medical researchers &#8212; at the Harvard Medical School, no less &#8211;that fat friends can make you fat certainly resonates with me. Reading that, I immediately thought of my bud Fat Luther.
At mid-morning, Fat Luther will pull a box of Fudgies [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Iconic Heart Buster Burger to Exit Hospital Cafeteria Menu</title>
		<link>http://www.satirium.com/2007/04/iconic-heart-buster-burger-to-exit-hospital-cafeteria-menu/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirium.com/2007/04/iconic-heart-buster-burger-to-exit-hospital-cafeteria-menu/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Apr 2007 12:02:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Stockton</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dieting]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[What would John Wayne say?
After years of passionate debate, a County Commission resolution and a governor&#8217;s jawboning, come Monday the famed Heart Buster Burger will no longer be on the cafeteria menu at the Orange County Medical Center south of Los Angeles.
&#8220;Hallelujah! Sanity finally prevails,&#8221; said Orion Lovelace, chairman of the Orange County chapter of [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>New Condiments Diet Really Takes the Pounds Off</title>
		<link>http://www.satirium.com/2006/09/new-condiments-diet-really-takes-the-pounds-off/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirium.com/2006/09/new-condiments-diet-really-takes-the-pounds-off/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 30 Sep 2006 01:32:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Stockton</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dieting]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve battled a bulging waistline for years, sometimes it seems like forever. Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Dunkin Donuts, Big Mac Mega Diet, the Croissants and Marmalade Diet. Spare Tire Diet. You name it, I&#8217;ve tried it. And failed.
But I&#8217;m here to tell you that I&#8217;ve finally found the Holy Grail of diets. [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Legislators to Make Ridiculing the Obese a Hate Crime</title>
		<link>http://www.satirium.com/2006/08/legislators-to-make-ridiculing-the-obese-a-hate-crime/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirium.com/2006/08/legislators-to-make-ridiculing-the-obese-a-hate-crime/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 31 Aug 2006 00:32:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Stockton</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dieting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[What about a Quarterback Who Calls a Lineman &#8216;Lardass&#8217;?
A bipartisan group of Mississippi state legislators plans to introduce legislation that would make it a hate crime to poke fun at or otherwise ridicule fat people. 
The lawmakers&#8217; move comes a day after the release of a national study that again found Mississippi to be the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.satirium.com/2006/08/legislators-to-make-ridiculing-the-obese-a-hate-crime/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Concern Growing about Teens Smoking Aspartame</title>
		<link>http://www.satirium.com/2005/12/concern-growing-about-teens-smoking-aspartame/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirium.com/2005/12/concern-growing-about-teens-smoking-aspartame/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 12 Dec 2005 22:04:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Stockton</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dieting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family Life]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[DEA Might Classify Artificial Sweetener a Controlled Substance
In Cleveland, junior high school boys are boiling down Diet Coke and smoking the residue.
Reports from Atlanta, Dallas, and Los Angeles say that teen-age girls are stealing artificial sweetener packets from restaurants and smoking the contents.
Some supermarkets in Denver have put their artificial sweetener stocks under lock and [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.satirium.com/2005/12/concern-growing-about-teens-smoking-aspartame/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Plump Building Inspector Wins Crawl Space Prize</title>
		<link>http://www.satirium.com/2005/09/plump-building-inspector-wins-crawl-space-prize/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirium.com/2005/09/plump-building-inspector-wins-crawl-space-prize/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 12 Sep 2005 17:51:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Stockton</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dieting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Home Improvements]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Police Tickled the Expanse of Exposed Flesh before Freeing Him
John &#8220;Tiny&#8221; Albertson of Dry Creek, Nebraska won this year&#8217;s storytelling competition staged by the National Association of Tiny Building Inspectors.
Albertson&#8217;s colleagues from around the country screeched with laughter and pounded their plump thighs with glee as he recounted how his ample rear end became stuck [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.satirium.com/2005/09/plump-building-inspector-wins-crawl-space-prize/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Hollywood Starlet Jelly Donut Diet Storms Tinseltown</title>
		<link>http://www.satirium.com/2005/05/hollywood-starlet-jelly-donut-diet-storms-tinseltown/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirium.com/2005/05/hollywood-starlet-jelly-donut-diet-storms-tinseltown/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 May 2005 23:00:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Stockton</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dieting]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Carbs Are Back as Actresses Battle Midriff Bulge
More and more up and coming young actresses are switching to the Hollywood Starlet Jelly Donut Diet. Carbs are back with a vengeance. Here is a typical daily diet plan.
Â 
Morning Makeup Call Survival Kit
One strawberry-filled jelly donut, half a dozen carrots sticks, and a quadruple frappe-latte with triple [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.satirium.com/2005/05/hollywood-starlet-jelly-donut-diet-storms-tinseltown/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Your Forties Are a More Dangerous Than Previously Thought</title>
		<link>http://www.satirium.com/2005/04/your-forties-are-a-more-dangerous-than-previously-thought/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirium.com/2005/04/your-forties-are-a-more-dangerous-than-previously-thought/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Apr 2005 20:29:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Stockton</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dieting]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Tequila, American Idol and Corvettes Don&#8217;t Mix Well
LONDON (AP) &#8211; The most convincing research so far suggests that being fat in your 40s might raise your risk of developing dementia later in life.
Other things to look out for in your forties:
1. Driving a Corvette too fast while swigging tequila from a bottle with a twenty-something [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.satirium.com/2005/04/your-forties-are-a-more-dangerous-than-previously-thought/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>At Wendy&#8217;s, Search for Owner of Chili Finger Grinds On</title>
		<link>http://www.satirium.com/2005/04/at-wendys-search-for-owner-of-chili-finger-grinds-on/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirium.com/2005/04/at-wendys-search-for-owner-of-chili-finger-grinds-on/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 16 Apr 2005 18:52:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Stockton</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dieting]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[How to Make a Quick $50,000
News Item:
Wendy&#8217;s is offering a $50,000 reward to the first person who can provide legitimate information leading to the origin of a finger which a customer found in a bowl of chili at a San Jose, California restaurant March 22. The fast food chain has set up a toll-free telephone [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.satirium.com/2005/04/at-wendys-search-for-owner-of-chili-finger-grinds-on/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Hardee&#8217;s Monster Thickburger Assaults Devoted Vegan</title>
		<link>http://www.satirium.com/2004/12/hardees-monster-thickburger-assaults-devoted-vegan/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satirium.com/2004/12/hardees-monster-thickburger-assaults-devoted-vegan/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 10 Dec 2004 10:52:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Stockton</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dieting]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Did She Cry in Disgust or Drool over a Forbidden Delight?
The United Vegans of Greater Omaha are in an uproar over what to do about a member who was caught in a Hardee&#8217;s restaurant looking at one of the fast food chain&#8217;s new Monster Thickburgers. The sandwiches weigh in at 1,420 calories and 107 grams [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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