Satirium Explains the News So You Don’t Have to Worry About Brain Overload
It all started when the kid went trick or treating in a cat costume and was invited into somebody’s house to claw the carpet and lick the couch.
The main problem is they are so unresponsive, so flat affect to just about everything you say or do to them. You could even take a straight pin and poke it right into a dead person and they wouldn’t say a thing.
Not yet. But it’s tried on more than one occasion.
Those damned liberals. Senator Kennedy’s fingerprints are all over this one. You rail against congressional earmarks and then you do something like this. Read my lips: Stop coddling criminals!
Just how, exactly, do the birds know the house is distressed? Do they consult a database to see how long the for sale sign has been out there on the lawn? Do they subscribe to some kind of newsletter? Does a distressed house have a special smell only a vulture can detect?
What’s the big deal? All writers do research. This sounds like a classic First Amendment case. The Supreme Court will smack them down on this one.
It was all a big misunderstanding. She was merely bathing her baby, who had been born several weeks before in a dumpster behind the 7-11 next door.