State Scientists Discover That Weeds Don’t Thrive in Freezing Weather
Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels had good news for Hoosiers in his traditional State of the State address on New Year’s Eve: The statewide weed emergency he declared last June is over.
“I have been informed by my science advisory panel of noxious weed experts it is their conclusion that weeds don’t thrive in freezing weather and that some weed species even die if the weather is cold enough for a long enough period,” Daniels, a Republican, said in his annual radio address delivered from fireside at the governor’s mansion.
The governor said that Indiana National Guard members
assigned to special weed discovery and interdiction patrols would be allowed to return to their barracks. Some would be given passes to visit their families, although other troops would remain in a state of readiness should another weed outbreak occur in the next few weeks.
“If my science advisers are right — and I have little reason to doubt them — and if the cold weather holds through January and February, then it might be safe to conclude that this terrible weed scourge that has gripped our state since last May is at an end,” the governor said. “Lets us all give thanks to the Almighty for his help during this trying period.”
A photograph of the governor delivering his radio address showed his wife and children watching from a nearby couch.
Democrats had assailed the governor over his declaration of a weed emergency, saying it was a smokescreen to divert attention from budget problems and a scandal involving the state soothsayer selling sooths for private gain.
“Anyone who has taken a high school biology class should know that weeds die when freezing weather arrives and that they sometimes return in the spring when things warm up,” said Art Ligget, Democratic state chairman. “Are we now going to see annual weed emergencies just so we can get the public to ignore illegal trafficking in the sale of sooths by a political hack who wouldn’t know a sooth from a soufflé?”