It’s Time to Rein-in The FCC and Outsource Nudity to Blackwater or Boeing
I saw that NYPD Blue episode where the little kid walked in and saw a naked female rear end. I mean, like, that was some frightening rear end! It traumatized me, too, to see that, and I’m not even a little kid. Gave me nightmares.
Now, the Federal Communications Commission wants to fine ABC Television. Right on, I say, Mr. FCC. Fine them real good. Don’t stop at $1.4 million. Throw the book at them. Teach them a lesson about nudity on the airwaves.
Showing that woman’s NYPD Blue naked ass in the shower is far, far worse than that woman who showed her breast to the world during that football game. Fine those NYPD Blue suckers, I say. They’ve got lots of money. Aren’t their parents Disney? What’ $1.4 million to Disney? A typical lunch tab at Spago or one of those Hollywood restaurants. Is Spago still around? Is that how they spell it?
For years I’d been saying that NYPD Blue was out of control. Beating perps, tricking perps, lying to perps, denying them their legal rights. That’s no way to treat people, even on television programs. What happened to respect for others less fortunate than oneself? How would you like to come up against that fat-assed cop Sipowicz? Why didn’t they show his naked ass? You can bet that if they showed Sipowicz’ pudgy rear end with no clothes, there would be no fine. Lots of viewers rushing to the bathroom to upchuck, but no fines.
And get this: This all happened in 2003! What’s with the government? It takes them five years to decide to impose a fine? Just how many times did they sit in a darkened room and play the tape of that woman’s rear end? A couple of thousand times? At least that many, wouldn’t you say?
Bunch of sickos at the FCC, sitting in a dark room and playing an endless loop tape of a naked female rear end in a shower. Somebody ought to fine those FCC dudes for being so slow, if you ask me. Surely, someone in the private sector could have handled it quite competently in just, say, two years.
Maybe it’s time to outsource the FCC to the private sector. One of those big defense contractors could handle it in a heart beat. Boeing, maybe. Or Blackwater. Those guys surely know profanity when they hear it and nudity when they see it. Shoot first and ask questions later.
But don’t outsource the FCC to Halliburton. Everybody’s pretty much sick of Cheney at this point. Imagine seeing his naked rear end in the shower. So, no outsourcing the FCC to Halliburton.