Pheromones Run Rampant in Election Year Personal Ads
Law and Order White Jewish Male Liberal and adorable didactic mensch has searched the world for a kindred, sophisticated, adventurous Gothamite who is convinced Rudy Giuliani is the answer to all our national forebodings and will gladly seek out and tattle on every illegal maid in her building in order to secure a prosperous future for our young people, our precious cargo trusted to us as we hurtle around the sun on our ceaseless journey. I am a non-smoker who picks up his underwear and dirty socks and knows his way around the laundry room and when to put in softener and when to just spit in the washing machine for good luck. Financially independent but frugal to a fault. Seeks curvaceous and sex-obsessed goddess and non-smoker (drinking OK!) for fun, fun, fun and endless political talk. Reply to Box 7654.
My Friends Tell Me I Remind Them of Hillary and that I sound just like her when I speak, but without the shrill, hectoring manner, although I find it charming in a rigid, feminist sort of way that I sound like her. With a Hillaryous dry wit, I am sometimes naughty, always politically aware but seldom politically correct, which causes these same friends to urge me to reach out and find my Obama, whatever the color of his skin, even if he is married and has kids, but he has to have some money and like to get out on the town and show his wild side, all the while with a twinkle in his eye, just like mine. Long evenings in front of the fire with a bottle or two of a good cabernet and cross tabs from the latest Times poll and a romp on the faux polar bear rug are my idea of heaven. No Boys on the Bus, please, I just want a sincere liberal turtle dove who likes to cuddle in the nest and flap his wings now and then. Box Hill289
Let Me Be Your Al Gore and You Can Be My Carbon Dioxide I didn’t invent the Internet but you can count on me to be both the life of the party and your rock of Gibraltar if the Republicans hang on to the White House for four more years and the seas begin to rise. Let the waters lap at the foot of my mountain while you and I sit in our solar-heated hot tub and wait for George Soros to fund our Inth Dimension Foundation and the arrival of the rocket ships that will whisk us away to our Nirvana of endless life and ceaseless coupling, whatever your polity. Smokers, non-stop talkers and servile layabouts need not apply.