Thoughtful Discourse on Tough Issues a Hallmark of American Politics
In the interest of enlightened political debate, Satirium asked the leading presidential candidates to answer the following question: What should United States policy be regarding Pakistan and General/President Musharraf’s suspension of the Pakistan constitution?
Rudy Giuliani A constitution is the bedrock of government and to sully it is like going to K-Mart to purchase lumber, when you should go to a lumber yard to purchase lumber, or at least go to a Home Depot. But lumber is not the answer for Pakistan. When lawyers and judges get uppity, it’s just like squeegee bums. Tear gas and and a whack or two with a policeman’s night stick can advance the cause of liberty and democracy, although based on my experience with Pakistani taxi drivers in New York City where I was the mayor, you have to wonder if a military dictatorship might not be the correct path for Pakistan to take toward democracy.
Hillary Clinton Pakistan shows that seven years of the Bush Administration is an exercise in futility and the real future of the American people lies not with Pakistan, or even with any of the so-called “istan” countries, but with the American people themselves who do not answer to invective or insinuation, or even to tear gas in the streets, although soaking a handkerchief with water and putting it over your mouth and nose and eyes can help you continue on your march to freedom.
John McCain I have met one-on-one with General Musharraf on several occasions and I always found his suits to be clean and neatly pressed and the one time that he was wearing his army uniform, I felt it was well-tailored, maybe even stylish, as uniforms go, and that he wasn’t wearing too many medals, which can be a dead give away in most second- and third-rate countries where they pretend to be a democracy but really are a military dictatorship just looking for a handout from the United States and the leaders like to wear a lot of medals.
Fred Thompson I have never met President Musharraf and I have never been to Pakistan, but I do recall that I looked it up on a Google map once and felt that countries in that part of the world have a hard time with democracy because it doesn’t come natural to them, while, on the other hand, I think the fact that I have never been to Pakistan and have never met Musharraf is an advantage because I don’t have my mind cluttered on the issue and as a result, Pakistan for me is a pleasant blank, and why would I want to think about a far away place like that anyway unless I was going to go there on a vacation?
Mitt Romney When I was governor of Massachusetts, I never met President Musharraf, but my wife and I often had dinner at a Pakistani restaurant in Cambridge, which is the town across the Charles River from Boston where Harvard and MIT are located, and we got to know the family that ran the restaurant and found that they are good people, which suggested to us that the negative stereotypes that plague honest, hard working Pakistanis in this country are wrong and that if a democracy like ours is to prosper over the long term, we must limit immigration to good people like that family of Pakistanis running that restaurant, but keep out others who don’t share the American ideals of self and family first and everyone and every thing else second.