What Will Dear Henry Encounter in His New Wife’s Boudoir?
It’s time for another virginity rant about the Bush twins, Jenna and Barbara, brought to you by the American Hypocritical Society.
As widely reported elsewhere, Karl Rove, Bush Administration spinmeister extraordinair and wedge issue guru, has driven off into the sunset, headed for a repurposed life back in Texas. Left behind in the political detritus is a grandaddy of born-again Christian wedge issues, celibacy before marriage. How many times during the last 80 months have President Bush and his minions promoted through speeches and government programs the benefits of preserving one’s virginity until the wedding night?
Let us count the ways. No, never mind. It would take to long.
Instead, let us raise yet again that nettlesome, impertinent question: Are the Bush twins virgins? More to the immediate matter at hand, is Jenna Bush still a virgin?
In case you are one of those who plug their ears and avert their eyes whenever news of the Bush Dynasty presents itself, let us remind you that Jenna is betrothed to her Dear Henry.
Pardon our slothful ways, but we forget Henry’s last name or details of the bona fides of his family or how he proposes to make a living during life’s journey. Surely though, he is a fine young man who went to a good college and didn’t have to fall back on the gentleman’s C grading system too often to get his diploma.
But will Dear Henry, in the sanctity of the wedding night boudoir, be presented with… ummm … used merchandise, or the real, brand new thing?
Give it a rest, Mr. Satirium, you might be saying. But bear with us. This is important.
Americans look to their president to lead by example, not by exhortation alone. If a nation is at war, then at least or one or two members of the president’s extended family should participate in fighting the war. If the president uses his bully pulpit to extol the virtues of celibacy until marriage, then the president’s daughters should be Exhibit A, an example of chastity that will inspire all young people.
If the president’s political apparatchiks use the promotion of celibacy until marriage as a tool to set one group of the electorate against another, then members of the president’s family are expected to help lead by example. And if they are not leading by example — if on his wedding night Dear Henry is more or less ho hum about climbing into bed with his bride because there is not all that much new to discover — then the American people need to know. They will want to recalculate their political bearings, just as they did with Senators Vitter and Craig and Representative Foley
So how about it Mainstream Media? Would somebody please put a team of investigative reporters on this? Our democracy needs needs a definitive answer.
Thank You.
And remember this, Dear Readers: Prayers offered up immediately before sex go to the top of the queue.