Strive for an Earthy Look by Seeking out Au Naturel Items Close at Hand
It’s time for all male college student to begin thinking about how to decorate their dorm room for the coming year. Here are some trendy ideas.
– Visit a local McDonald’s. When no one is looking, open the door of a full trash bin and abscond with the bag full of customer leavings, such items as half-eaten hamburgers, discarded French fries, and lots of soiled wrappers. Back at the dorm, distribute the bag’s contents in an artful manner throughout the room.
– Purchase a dozen condoms and a can of shaving cream. Back at the dorm, open the condoms one by one, fill each with shaving cream and then tuck them as artfully as possible under hamburger wrappers, inside hamburger boxes and under the bed. Place a couple of the condoms in some surprising place. Be creative. Part of the art of decorating a room involves creating visual surprises.
– Seek out a used clothing donation bin in the parking lot of a strip mall, fire station or a church. Dive inside, being careful, of course, not to get stuck. Taking along a flashlight might be a smart idea. Make a careful selection of t-shirts, sweat shirts, jeans, running shoes, dresses and — most importantly — bras and panties. Back at the dorm, distribute the clothes in an artful manner, again paying special attention to visual surprises.
– Visit a Wal-Mart and obtain (no shoplifting, please) a dozen male athletic supporters. After a rain storm, find a suitable mud puddle and douse the jock straps in the ooze, patiently working grime into the fabric. Back at the dorm, drape and hang them opportunistically — from the shower head, a desk lamp, bed post, light switch, ceiling light fixture, shower rod. If possible hang one or two out a window, along with some of the bras and panties from the used clothing donation bin.
– Take a half dozen pairs of running shoes scavenged in the clothing bin to a local horse farm. Put on the running shoes a pair at a time and clomp through the farm’s manure pit so that the treads of the shoes are filled with horse dung. Back at the dorm, distribute the shoes as artfully as possible. As usual, surprise us. Placing a couple in dresser drawers would be a good start.
Enjoy! (And start thinking about how to explain the decor to your mom during her Parents Weekend visit.)