Bad Breath Can Be a Powerful Tool in Moulding Relationships with Others
These tests are guaranteed to work, or your money back:
Get down on your knees. Grasp the cat’s head firmly in both hands and breathe your breath out in the cat’s face. (Let go quickly, lest you get scratched.) If the cat races to the litter box and produces the world’s greatest feline bowel movement, you should do something about your breath.
If a telemarketer calls in the middle of dinner, even though you’re on the do-not-call list, say nothing and breathe heavily into the phone, expelling plenty of breath into the mouthpiece so they can get a whiff on the other end of the line. If they hang up in less than three minutes, you have bad breath.
During a group primal scream therapy class, if the leader suddenly collapses and some of those nearest you become unsteady on their feet, you have bad breath.
Should your dentist and his assistant elect to wear protective garments and headgear similar to what astronauts wear during space walks, it’s a good bet you have bad breath.
While sitting in the confessional pouring your heart out, you hear a suspicious clunking sound on the other side of the screen that makes you wonder if the priest has fainted and fallen to the floor. It’s probably time to seek help from on high as you fight your bad breath.