Satirium

An 1889 vintage three-holer outhouse decorated in a “Stay the Course” theme captured Grand Champion honors at the National Association of Antique Outhouse Collectors convention last weekend.
Supporters of the Brush Administration’s handling of the Iraq war were quick to hail the victory, citing the apolitical, multi-cultural makeup of the judges panel.
“These judges, in their wisdom, have demonstrated that middle-of-the-road Americans support the war effort and believe we will succeed, unless we quit,” said Horace Bennett, the owner of the antique outhouse.
A White House press aide, informed of the “Stay the Course” outhouse victory, said the Administration was “gratified at the news” and “the President welcomes support for his Iraq policy wherever he can find it.”
More than 300 antique outhouses, most mounted on flatbed trucks or open trailers, were on display in a 40-acre wheat field outside Guymon, Oklahoma. Outhouse collectors brought their privies from as far as Portland, Oregon and Copake, New York, a rural village 100 miles north of New York City.
The winning “Stay the Course” outhouse came from Wind Gap, Ohio. It was mounted on the flat bed of a World War II vintage truck originally used to haul supplies to troops in Europe. Manikins dressed in soldier uniforms and holding faux assault rifles were positioned all around the truck bed and the cab, training their guns on possible attackers.
A platoon of GI Joe characters stood on the outhouse roof. An Osama bin Ladin doll was spread-eagled on the truck windshield, as if the truck had struck it at high speed.
The winning entry’s door had been propped open to reveal three soldier manikins inside occupying the outhouse seats. During the judging, the manikins were removed and members of the Wind Gap, Ohio veterans group that decorated the outhouse sat on the seats, wearing uniforms from their military service during the Gulf War era.
“We just had to come here and make a statement,” said Robert Burlington, the group’s leader. “The election don’t mean squat. We’re with the president. Stay the course. We’ll succeed, unless we quit.”
The second place trophy went to a 1905 two-holer that had been built with a gingerbread house motif. The entry, from Ebeneezer, Missouri, was decorated in a Winnie the Pooh theme.
Third place was a vintage 1940s one-holer with rusting corrugated sheet metal siding from Ocate, New Mexico. Its theme was “Love That Chili — Hotter, the Better.”