It’s Not Only the Media That Must Be Brought Under Control
News Item:
President Bush said it was disgraceful The New York Times revealed that the Government was monitoring global banking transactions as part of the war on terror.
Here are some other things that are equally disgraceful:
– Retired elderly plumbers who go to casinos for the sole purpose of taking advantage of the $6.95 all-you-can-eat buffet and then return to the steam tables for seconds, thirds and even fourths. It’s disgraceful behavior and should be stopped. People are starving in some parts of the world.
– The fact that men are banned from carrying purses. If men could carry purses, they would have a place for their checkbooks and their condoms wouldn’t get at scrunched up like they do when stuffed in wallets. With a purse, a guy would be able to carry a small electric drill and a socket and wrench set for emergency repairs, as well as a flashlight, tire changing kit, small lawn mower and, during the winter, a collapsible snow shovel. It’s disgraceful that men can’t carry purses.
– The absolute, total and utter disappearance of Tom DeLay from public life. How is it that after years of selfless public service someone can just disappear — poof — tossed on the trash heap of yesterday politicians? It’s not right to treat of a public servant like that and the practice must be stopped.
– It’s disgraceful that dogs can’t sit at the table in restaurants. What’s wrong with a quiet, small dog that just wants to sleep in his master’s or mistress’ lap while they chow down? Why couldn’t the petite canine wait in the lap, ready to daintily snatch each morsel that falls on the napkin and occasionally, only occasionally, leap in a furry flash from the lap to snap up something dropped on the floor at a nearby table. What’s wrong with that?
– It’s disgraceful that they’re going to make President Bush step aside after only two terms, just as he’s hitting his stride as commander in chief fighting the global war on terror. Just as he’s finally learning his job, he has to hang up his cleats. It’s disgraceful and it ought to be fixed, right now.
– It’s disgraceful the way the newspapers continue to insist on using the word kerfuffle and that abominable contraction, mightn’t. First, make newspaper editors stop such abhorrent abuse of the English language. Then, send them to jail for publishing state secrets. First things, first, dammit.