‘Muzzle Mouth’ Device Expected to Fly off the Shelves
Gloria Cotswald, the wife of famed inventor and entrepreneur Edwin Cotswald, says she doubts she is the inspiration for her husband’s latest invention. Edwin, with a twinkle in his eye and a droll smile, says he looks for inspiration “wherever I can find it, including from my dear Gloria.”
Whatever the case, Cotswald’s new Muzzle Mouth facial mask that mutes the voice of anyone who talks too loud and irritates those nearby is expected to fly off the shelves when it hits stores early in April. Wal-Mart, Target, and Staples have all placed large orders.
“Every office has at least one and sometimes two or three people who spend all day braying at the top of their lungs. Muzzle Mouth is the solution,” Cotswald explained. “Stick muzzle mouth on that nearby pod person who is about to drive you to drink or even suicide with their loud voice and suddenly your work environment will be much, much more pleasant.”
As is customary with his inventions, Cotswald is circumspect about the technology it employs to mute loud talkers. The mask fits over the mouth and nose and fastens around the back of the head with an elastic strap.
A reporter who tried a Muzzle Mouth found it comfortable to wear, even for a long period. His voice, which registered 60 decibels on a sound meter with normal speech, was muted to 30 decibels, the level of a whisper. His 80 decibel shout came out as 60 decibel normal speech.
“We studied many office environments while working on Muzzle Mouth and found that almost every office has someone who measures 80 decibels about 90 percent of the time,” Cotswald said. “Just imagine what your own office will be like if that person is humanely silenced. Productivity will go through the roof.”
Cotswald said that at present his company has no plans to market Muzzle Mouth to married couples.
“We’re focused on the workplace,” he said. “If someone wants to buy a Muzzle Mouth for a spouse, they can just head off to Wal-Mart of Target and help themselves.”
He denied reports in the noise suppression trade press that Cotswald Industries had conducted a study of couples married more than 10 years and found that 75 percent of the women talked at sound levels higher than 80 decibels when addressing their husbands.
“That’s just one of those urban legends,” Cotswald said.
Asked if he had taken a sound level meter home and measured Gloria’s voice, Cotswald said, “I’m going to invoke my marital Fifth Amendment rights on that one.”
When asked if he might consider giving Gloria a Muzzle Mouth as an anniversary or birthday present, Cotswald said: “I’m not that crazy.”