High School Book Report Deemed Key to Nominee’s Thinking
A group of Internet bloggers is digging up cow pastures and a municipal park in the remote town of Springerville, Arizona, searching for buried documents written by Supreme Court nominee John Roberts.
Acting on an anonymous tip, the bloggers are searching for term papers that Roberts wrote during his freshman and sophomore undergraduate years at Harvard University and a high school social studies book report. The documents are all believed to relate to the nominee’s early views on abortion rights, prayers in schools, affirmative action, and whether roasting marshmallows on a busy street corner is protected under the Fourth Amendment.
“His thinking in the early years, his formative years, is crucial. Imagine if we could find an eleventh grade book report he wrote on the role of the Supreme Court in the separation of powers,” said Freedom Fat Cat as he took a break from hefting a shovel a few paces from the swings in Springerville’s park.
Like others of the half dozen bloggers who descended two days ago on this cattle ranching village of in the remote mountains of eastern Arizona, Freedom Fat Cat declined to give his real name. He cited concerns that the FBI might be looking for him.
The six bloggers came to Springerville independently, all apparently acting on the same anonymous tip and each thinking he had been tipped off exclusively.
“There was some consternation, that’s for sure, when we each looked around and saw the others,” said Round House Freedom Dude. “But after a few tense exchanges, we decided to band together and share whatever we found.”
The anonymous tip, which came to each blogger as an e-mail, said they would find a term paper Roberts wrote for a Harvard government class as a sophomore about “the overreaching zealots on the Supreme Court.” It also promised they would find a freshman term paper about the essential role that pornography plays in protecting freedom of speech. The e-mail included detailed instructions about where to dig, specifying a spot “ten yards due east of the swing set” in Springerville’s park and two spots on the ranch of Cuthbert Elkins, four miles south of town.
“I told them fellas they’re sure welcome to dig, long as they fill up the holes when they finish,” said a bemused Elkins, 77, whose family has ranched on the land since the 1890s. “Ain’t nothing been buried where they’re lookin’ and I would know. But there ain’t no accountin’ for how crazy people can get when they live back east.”
Elkins said the bloggers had an amusing — at least to him — encounter with a 2,000-pound Charolais bull when they first came to the ranch. They began digging at a spot 200 yards from a point where U.S. Highway 60 runs past the ranch. The bull, who Elkins calls Sweet Pea, spotted them and ambled over to investigate.
“Never seen a bunch of city fellas run so fast,” he said. He said Sweet Pea is “as gentle as they come” and merely wanted to find out what was going on.
Springerville’s mayor, Art Weatherspoon, said the town was pleased to host the bloggers.
“We’re a very friendly town when it comes to tourists. We’ll do whatever it takes to make your stay a happy one,” he said. “I sure hope they find something. That could really put us on the map. Maybe we could turn it into an annual event, some kind of bloggers digging festival. How does that sound?”