Here is a summary of the latest news from Septic System Daily:
Backhoe Severs Pipe, Fills Empty Pool with Effluent
Oglethorpe, Ga. — More than 20,000 gallons of untreated household effluent poured into an empty backyard swimming pool here when a backhoe operator accidentally severed a sewer pipe. The operator, Joe Preston, 62, said he became distracted by a Rush Limbaugh broadcast about Sports Illustrated swimsuit models that he was listening to on his headphones.
Police cordoned off the area and ordered neighborhood children not to swim in the pool, even though it was a warm day and the water didn’t smell too bad.
Violent Bulldozer Duel Between Septic Installers a Draw
Penndot, Pa. — Two competing septic system installers here engaged in a violent bulldozer duel when both men showed up with their bulldozers at the same time to begin installation of a septic system for a new home. Police said an absentminded homeowner, who was not identified, had apparently signed an installation contract with each contractor and given each a sizeable retainer.
Both men appeared with their bulldozers on the first day that spring weather was mild enough to begin construction. When they were unable to agree on who should proceed, each contractor took to his bulldozer and a violent battle between yellow behemoths ensued. Police, who had to fire their guns into the air to get the men to stop ramming the bulldozers together, declared the battle a draw.
Septic Tank Pump Truck Driver Wins Essay Contest
Mediapolis, Ia. — Gary Langston, who has driven a septic tank pump truck for more than 20 years here, is the winner of the 2005 essay contest held by the Iowa Septic Installers and Cleaners Association. Langston, 43, received a plaque and a $250 cash award for his essay entitled “Pumping It Out for Twenty Years.”
In announcing the award, the ISICA said that the essay contest judges cited Langston’s “sensitive and lyrical prose that captured both the thrill of the pump thrumming under pressure as it sucked the septic the tank dry and the satisfaction the author felt afterward for a job well done.” The judges further praised Langston’s “eye for detail and his ability to communicate the essential nature of the service he performs and its broader meaning to Iowans.”