Neoconservatives Pushing To Clone Rumsfeld, Cheney

Wolfowitz, Rice, Others Would Be Replicated, Too

Throughout his first term, President Bush adamantly opposed the cloning of humans, even as the scientific capability to do so someday continued to move forward.

But the no-cloning policy could be about to change because of a determined campaign by neoconservative hardliners who want to be able to clone some of the movement’s leading lights, including Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld.

Although Rumsfeld is neoconservatism’s most visible symbol inside the Beltway, he is actually number two on the neocon cloning short list. At the top of the list is Leo Strauss, the University of Chicago professor of philosophy who died in 1972. Strauss is revered as the intellectual progenitor of neoconservatism, though few modern neoconservatives have read his writings and many of those who have confess that they don’t fully follow his arguments.

Some unconfirmed reports say that a secret effort to clone Strauss is already underway outside the United States, possibly in China. These reports say that a $100 million cloning war chest raised from wealthy neoconservatives was used to set up a secret laboratory at Chairman Mao University’s Department of Human Cloning in Shanghai.

Also believed to be on the neocon cloning short list are Paul Wolfowitz, deputy secretary of defense, and Douglas Feith, undersecretary of defense for policy. Others include Condoleezza Rice, who will be secretary of state in the second Bush Administration, Richard Perle, Vice President Dick Cheney, and Scott McClellan, White House press secretary.

“Some of the discussions have been intense,” said a person familiar with the twice-monthly neocon weekend retreats held at a secret underground bunker in West Virginia. “There is a strong sense among neoconservatives that they will hold sway over American politics for some time to come and that they need to work now to create future leaders of unquestionable genetic makeup.”

Cloning is already a fact with lesser mammals, including sheep, household pets, and other animals. But researchers point out that while a young sheep, for example, might have the precise genetic makeup of its parent, there is no guarantee that it’s behavior traits will be the same.

Thus, a child who is the exact genetic replica of Rumsfeld might not grow up to be Rumsfeld.

“Some of the more savvy neocons are fully aware of this, but there has been a surprising number of the group who firmly believe that a replica of Don Rumsfeld will grow up to be Don Rumsfeld,” said the person with knowledge of the goings-on at the weekend bunker retreats.

This person said that some of the neocons who believe this have argued that multiple copies of Vice President Cheney and Paul Wolfowitz should be produced. Some have even suggested that special nurseries and private schools be set up to raise the multiple copies of leading necons so that they will grow into the national leaders who are already familiar figures, like Rumsfeld.

“They imagine a world in which every presidential administration has a Rumsfeld or two or a trio of Cheneys as central figures,” he said.

Asked about reports of neoconservatives supporting the cloning of humans, White House press secretary McClellan said, “We don’t answer questions here that are based on science fiction fantasies.”